I believe that my focus on gratitude is letting me accept myself and my problems with greater gentleness. When I participated in the National Writing Project - one activity that we did was take a line for a walk. In the book “Simple Abundance” there is a line that resonates with me today.
“Most of us are hungering for something more in our lives.”
I have consciously focused on one little word - gratitude - for a few weeks. My world has begun to shift - a little. It’s like looking in a mirror and discovering that I’m wrapped in chains. Chains I’ve wrought one link at a time. Links I forged with choices, with denial, and habit.
During the last week I have noticed my husband has helped out around the house more. My home feels more loving. I have organized my computer desk at school. Dan and I have recommitted to losing weight with Weight Watchers program.
I am aware that I’m dragging my feet with it though. I paid for both our monthly membership with the same card. End of December I lost my card and had to replace it. I forgot about changing my info with WW. Early January got a note that my card didn’t work. Contacted them changed both accounts. Hubby’s account no problem. Mine they have run through many times it keeps getting rejected. I have now made four phone calls. Each time they fix it. Yet it still is not working. Tomorrow will be call number five. I am confused that the same card works for my husband’s account but not mine. And I use it for regular purchases no problem.
The universe certainly has an odd sense of humor as it lets me work on life lessons. Metaphorically I am still kicking and screaming about making changes. About releasing myself from the shackles around my soul.
What am I really hungry for? Today on Dr Phil I heard a phrase that caught my ear; “Its not your fault but it is your responsibility...” Things that happened in my past have contributed to my problems today. But it is my responsibility to take action, to fix it.
Looking at my life with gratitude seems to be unlocking the shackles. One layer at a time.
“Most of us are hungering for something more in our lives.”
I have consciously focused on one little word - gratitude - for a few weeks. My world has begun to shift - a little. It’s like looking in a mirror and discovering that I’m wrapped in chains. Chains I’ve wrought one link at a time. Links I forged with choices, with denial, and habit.
During the last week I have noticed my husband has helped out around the house more. My home feels more loving. I have organized my computer desk at school. Dan and I have recommitted to losing weight with Weight Watchers program.
I am aware that I’m dragging my feet with it though. I paid for both our monthly membership with the same card. End of December I lost my card and had to replace it. I forgot about changing my info with WW. Early January got a note that my card didn’t work. Contacted them changed both accounts. Hubby’s account no problem. Mine they have run through many times it keeps getting rejected. I have now made four phone calls. Each time they fix it. Yet it still is not working. Tomorrow will be call number five. I am confused that the same card works for my husband’s account but not mine. And I use it for regular purchases no problem.
The universe certainly has an odd sense of humor as it lets me work on life lessons. Metaphorically I am still kicking and screaming about making changes. About releasing myself from the shackles around my soul.
What am I really hungry for? Today on Dr Phil I heard a phrase that caught my ear; “Its not your fault but it is your responsibility...” Things that happened in my past have contributed to my problems today. But it is my responsibility to take action, to fix it.
Looking at my life with gratitude seems to be unlocking the shackles. One layer at a time.
I especially love that you talked of both the positives & the negatives, the frustrations. And glad to hear you're reading Simple Abundance-I thought it was quite supportive in changing thinking. And love the Dr. Phil quote-it's true, no matter how hard, our responsibility. Best wishes to you & thanks for a good thoughtful start to my day, too!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with freeing yourself from the chains. It is interesting how OLW helps you to reflect and collecting thoughts moves you forward. Thank you for sharing the reflection.
ReplyDeleteTerje
Ruth, just reading a blog named Poem Farm & saw the reference to this poem by Mary Oliver-thought you would like it. http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2009/07/09
ReplyDeleteLinda,
ReplyDeleteThat is a beautiful poem. Thank you for letting me know about it. I love it.